Number Ones

Merrick has slapped me with one of those blog meme challenge thingies - to find five phrases which, when typed into Google, bring up my blog as the number one result.

To give some context, Merrick's own phrases of Google-related glory include "An old man wanking into a sock" and "Caviar enemas". Lovely. You won't be surprised to learn that he's awarding bonus points for anything that sounds even slightly salacious or perverse, bless him.

Here are five of my number ones, which I believe reflect my spectrum of writing topics fairly well:

"sex kills more people than terrorism"
"Pink and purple sparkly cowboy hats"
"Zombie-freezing technology"
"sprayed with Kelvin Mackenzie's bile"
"police premature ejection"

Though I'd like to also give honourable mentions to:

"anarchist-eco-hippy-tree-munching-lentil-loving-mud-warrior"
"The people vs. climate chaos"

and

"a boat carved out of a giant carrot"

This particular phrase returns 101 exact matches, all of them referring to me. Which I think, according to the rules of the internet, means that I now have to get it carved on my headstone.

Merrick tagged a few others too - you can check out their results here (this is also a good excuse to plug these rather delicious blogs):

Dreamflesh
Alice in Blogland
The Quiet Road

I'm now meant to tag five other blogs and thus spread this delightful bit of time-wasting across the internet. So let's see if I can persuade this lot to do it:

Punk Science
Contains Mild Peril*
Zoetic
Graham's Grumbles
Chicken Yoghurt

Or if you fancy having a go yourself, why not declare your results in the comments below?